I've been off the market for just over six months since me and my girlfriend broke up (that's a story for another time) and I decided that while I was wasting time at a theme park, i would scout the crowd and give my Gaydar a bit of a workout. However, i discovered fairly early on that I'm either broken, or in desperate need of a service (no pun intended) ;).
How the hell does this thing work?! Is there like a manual for it? Somehow I don't think i'm going to find The Idiot's Guide to the Gaydar in my local Library any day now... So I'm there, listlessly wandering the crowded streets of Dreamworld alone (my friends were working there part of the day), and i found my eyes drawn to anything with a Y-Chromosome above the age of 18... Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Nichts.
Practically every single guy my age is as manicured as the girls they're walking with... Their hair is dyed and straightened to within an inch of its life, they wear jewellery, they dress better than i even thought possible, and to top it all off they all had girlfriends...
So how do you separate them? If only there were some colour-coding system... Red for straight, Yellow for Bi and Green for Gay... There. The traffic light system always works! :D *cough* Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple...
I shall call him "Big Red" :D
Imagine seeing this everywhere you turn.... wow. of course their pants are a little higher up, but i thought you might appreciate this Matt ;) You see, there's a waterpark there, and most of the guys are ripped, tanned and just downright hot! Seriously, you could grate cheese with their abs and cure cancer by oogling their biceps... anyway, you get the picture... Way out of my league, but still nice eye-candy :P and completely distracting!
They say that when it rains, it pours... and so not only was my gaydar (or lack thereof) pissing down on my parade, but my i ran into 2 different groups of friends while there - friends that immediately started pointing out girls and asking for my opinion... shit (even though they don't quite do it for me, i can admit that they were massively hot... i just don't know why :P)
In summary, I'm surrounded by hot guys, wearing practically nothing... I have friends pointing out all the girls... but the boys........ can't... stop... staring.... zoning out of conversations and losing focus seemed inevitable... and so did the many, many awkward situations :S. Damn. haha
I hope you enjoyed my first non-depressing post... XD I know i certainly did ;)