Wednesday, 6 April 2011

With New Beginnings

Alright... so here's the thing... My name's John (friends call me BJ), I'm 18, live in Australia, go to uni and mind my own business... My life may not seem complicated in the least, but let me assure you, it is.

Sure, i'm about as average as they come. I'm the middle child in my family of six (mum, dad, older brother, younger sister + adorable dog), I spend most of my time reading, i love my friends and sometimes my family, but like many teenagers out there trying to find their way in this world, I have a secret. I'm pretty sure I'm gay...

And that's where everything becomes complicated... I know people say that you should be 'out and proud' but it's hard knowing that everyone you care about would turn their back on you if they knew...

My "friends" make their views on the matter very clear (They're christian and we've had this argument several times under the weak guise of "my friend")...

My Parents say that they would accept it if any of their children were gay and that they would still love and support them (pointed stares in my direction *gulp*)  but make snide remarks about homosexuality at the first chance they can get (great way of showwing your support guys).

And my brother. The one guy i look up to most. I'm pretty sure i'd be worse than dead to him if he found out...

But no matter what, i seem to just keep digging myself even bigger holes... And i know that's not my fault... well it is, but i have good reason! Things just happen to me... Things fall in my lap that i just can't get rid of and keep putting me in compromising positions (unfortunately, not quite the kind i'd like) ;)

Yes, my life is complicated most of the time. Yes, I'm really only on here to procrastinate from doing my uni work (and of course to hopefully make people laugh about some of the shit that actually happens to me) and Yes, I suck at introductions! But i am grateful for what i do have, and i've just gotta make the best of it and learn to deal... with everything life throws at me.



  1. Hi John. Found you out here in cyberspace thru my blog.

    I just want to say that I really appreciate how honest and vulnerable you're being here. I look forward to following you and hope you continue to have the bravery it takes to be yourself here.

    You sound like a really special person and I want you to know I'm here for you!


  2. awww... thanks Matt, that means alot... and I actually had a post previous to this one thanking you, Brad, Thorny and Jazz because you all really inspire me... :D *blushes* hahaha I'll try... and I hope to see you round... I know i'll defs be on your blog :P